


A Slip of the Tongue

by Ineffable_Plans



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-07 15:48:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19212577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ineffable_Plans/pseuds/Ineffable_Plans
Summary: Aziraphale decides to tease Crowley a bit, since the demon seems to think angels are incapable of making dirty jokes on purpose.





	A Slip of the Tongue

**Author's Note:**

> Right, so I haven't written any fanfiction in *years* but this idea got into my head and it made me giggle so I just had to write it down. I don't have a beta reader, and I probably should have gone over this a bit before posing it but, oh well. No time!

 

It had started off innocently enough. Aziraphale hadn’t meant to say anything one would consider “dirty”, but once it was out there was no taking it back. Aziraphale probably wouldn’t have even realized if it weren’t for the look Crowley shot him. Crowley had definitely heard it, and the look of surprise on his face was almost enough to derail Aziraphale’s train of thought. But it was just a passing look, gone before Aziraphale really had time to process it. Aziraphale just smiled innocently and continued his rambling.

Crowley quickly drank the remainder of wine in his glass and looked around the overstuffed bookshop for a distraction. Surely Aziraphale didn’t realize what he said could be taken in a rather, erm, dirty context. He was an angel after all. Angels tend to be a bit sheltered as is, but Aziraphale in particular could be especially daft at times. No, he definitely didn’t mean it to sound that way. Crowley stood up and stretched. It had gotten rather late, and he was looking forward to sleeping for a few days. It had been relatively peaceful since the Armageddont and he was planning on taking full advantage of it. 

“It’s getting late, Angel,” he said by way of explanation.

Aziraphale glanced at the window of his shop. Not a speck of light was coming in around the shades. “So it is.”

Aziraphale miracled the glasses away and picked up one of his books. “Lunch tomorrow?”

“Nah, don’t think so,” Crowley shrugged, “I’m planning to be asleep for a few days. It’s been a while and if no one is going to come checking up on me…”

“Yes, of course. Enjoy yourself,” Aziraphale smiled, a bit sadly. He didn’t understand why Crowley derived so much pleasure from sleep. He had tried once or twice, but found it to be no comparison at all for a good cup of tea and a favorite book. 

“I’ll, uh, call you when I wake up,” Crowley promised. He preferred not to plan, just to come and go as he pleased. But he had been spending so much time with Aziraphale lately that it just seemed strange when he went back to his own flat. And Aziraphale’s face was an open book. Crowley couldn’t leave without letting him know he’d be back soon. 

It was worth it to see the gentle smile that spread over the stupid angel’s face. 

 

***

 

As Aziraphale read through the night he found his thoughts kept wandering. Wandering and returning to the look on Crowley’s face when he made the, er, easily misunderstood comment. It was shock and disbelief. But why? Aziraphale had been on Earth just as long as Crowley. He might be a bit proper (I have standards!) but that didn’t mean he was ignorant to the world around him. He might not have been the one to come up with them, but he was well versed at least. And when it came to the more physical side of things, well. Aziraphale rarely bothered these days, but he had been known to make the Effort a time or two in the past. He really did have a bit of a hedonistic streak running through him. Tea, wine, food…sex. Yes, he had done that as well. The humans had some very interesting ideas and how was he going to understand humans if he didn’t try some of them? 

So Crowley being shocked at a small, innocent (though very easily misunderstood) comment was amusing. Aziraphale spent the rest of the evening wondering what to do with this information.

 

***

 

It happened then that Aziraphale found himself unable to resist making comments here and there. Little innuendos that Crowley would surely pick up on, but assume the angel hadn’t really meant that way. Aziraphale didn’t know why this amused him so much other than to say the world hadn’t ended after all, and he really had nothing better to do at the moment. 

 

**Back at the bookshop:**

“This is a rather large shipment,” Aziraphale said with a sigh, looking at the box of newly delivered books.

“What did you expect?” Crowley rolled his eyes, “You’re the one that does all the ordering. Were you drunk or something?”

“Of course not! I thought they were going to ship some of the separately.”

“Hmph,” Came the noncommittal reply as Crowley went over to sit on the settee. 

“I was just really surprised how big his package was is all.”

Crowley missed the settee and fell straight to the floor. 

  
  
**Out for a walk:**

“Oh, let’s grab a bite at that little stand there,” Aziraphale said with excitement, already walking towards it.

Crowley sauntered along behind him, still not understanding what the big deal is. Hot dogs? He thought. Nothing to get excited about.

Aziraphale took two, carefully handing one to Crowley. “I do love a good sausage!”

Crowley nearly dropped his. 

  
  
**While having tea:**

“I generally prefer loose tea leaves, but on occasion I do love a good tea bag,” Aziraphale said innocently before taking a sip from his cup. 

Crowley choked on his tea.

 

  
**While out shopping:**

“Oh look, what lovely jewelry!” Aziraphale exclaimed as he wandered closer to a stand covered in a mess of gaudy trinkets.

“Angel, those are terrible,” Crowley said with a wince.

“So of them are quite nice! Maybe not my style, but still nice.”

“I don’t think they’re anyone’s style.”

“So you don’t think I’d look good in a pearl necklace?” Aziraphale replied sadly as he held up a necklace. 

He could almost see a bit of a blush before Crowley turned around and went off to another stall.

 

  


This continued for _months_. Aziraphale made random comments that Crowley was nearly sure he doesn’t really mean the way they sound. After all, he’s an angel. He’s all goodness and pure and innocence. He couldn’t know how these things sound. 

Aziraphale enjoyed his little private joke. It was just terribly amusing to see this demon who worked so hard to exude a look of calm coolness completely thrown off by a few words. It probably would have continued for some time if Aziraphale hadn’t pushed it a bit far one day. 

He had gotten too comfortable with it if he was being entirely honest with himself. Aziraphale’s filter seemed to be taking some time off, and after a particularly bad interaction with a customer (and he used that term loosely as he hadn’t allowed the man to actually buy anything) he found himself ranting a bit to Crowley over a glass of wine. 

“I mean, whatever was he thinking? As if I were going to simply sell him one of my first editions!” Aziraphale grumbled.

“Yes, Angel,” Crowley answered with an eye roll, “How dare he expect you to sell him books. In a bookshop.”

“That isn’t the point! He didn’t have to be so rude about it. Honestly, you should have heard the things he was saying.”

“I’m sure you will come up with a perfectly appropriate way to pay him back,” he said, flipping a page in a gardening book. 

“I will do no such thing,” Aziraphale replied in that holier-than-thou way only angels have truly mastered, “Turn the other cheek and all that.” He might be a bit frustrated, but he was an angel. It wasn’t like he was going to go out of his way to hurt the man. Aziraphale just didn’t want to see him in the shop again.

“How very in character for an angel,” Crowley said with a sigh of boredom, “’Course it’s more something my lot would do, but still. I hope you nail him anyway.”

“So does he.”

Both of them froze. Aziraphale hadn’t meant to actually say that out loud really. It was just that Crowley’s response begged for it. The retort was out of his mouth before he even realized what he was saying. Aziraphale quickly covered his mouth and got up to fill his glass. 

Crowley blinked. That was… There wasn’t any other possible conceivable way to take what Aziraphale had said except at face value. He felt like his brain has short circuited. 

“Did you-“he began, slowly putting down the book, “just make a dirty joke?”

“What? Who? Me?” Aziraphale kept his back to Crowley and fiddled a bit with his glass.

“You did, didn’t you?” Crowley’s eyes widened a bit, “You’ve been! I thought I was imagining it, but you’ve been making dirty jokes this whole time!”

“Nonsense. Angels don’t make dirty jokes,” Aziraphale replied haughtily. 

“Apparently they do!”

“Do not.”

“Fine, fine. Have it your way. I’m just a demon after all, I must have misunderstood you. Looking for things that aren’t there.”

“Yes, quite.”

“OK then, tell me what you meant by that,” Crowley smirked. 

“W-what?”

“What did you mean by that comment then?” Crowley smirk got bigger. He knew he had caught him. “I said I hope you nail him, and you said so does he. How have I misunderstood that exactly?”

“Well, you see. Uh. Um,” Aziraphale floundered. He just could not come up with a believable excuse, “OK, fine. You got me!”

Aziraphale was frustrated. He had rather been enjoying this little game, and now it was over. Crowley, not knowing they had been playing a game at all, still felt that he was the victor. 

“It’s your fault anyway,” Aziraphale said crossly, “You’re the one with the prejudices and preconceived notions about angels.”

“Prejudices?” Came the incredulous reply, “I’ve know you for 6000 years. It’s my fault you just now decided to make dirty jokes? I didn’t know your lot could.”

“Of course we can!” He turned towards Crowley, “And you may have known me for that long but there are a lot of gaps in there. I’ve done things you don’t even know about. I’m not quite as innocent as you think!” Aziraphale was all righteous indignation. How dare he just assume what I am and what I’m not! 

Crowley slowly got up and walked over to Aziraphale. All these years he had been perfectly content to simply be in this angel’s presence. To be close to him. He had wanted more, of course, but it wasn’t worth losing Aziraphale completely. _You go too fast for me._ He hadn’t pushed. He knew, of course, that some angels had chosen to make the Effort, as it were. But never had he known Aziraphale to do so. He couldn’t control the wide grin that spread across his face. Crowley continued to advance slowly on Aziraphale. Aziraphale attempted to back up a bit, but was thwarted with a rather well-placed wall. Crowley was inches away from his face.

“Tell me, angel,” He whispered, “What bad things have you done?”

Aziraphale blushed and looked down, unable to look Crowley in the eye. He felt a finger under his chin, pulling his face upward. 

“Well, I-“ Aziraphale stumbled over his words a bit, “I just...” He looked at Crowley, hesitated, and smiled softly. “I could show you?” 

“Yes, I think you might have to,” Crowley said as he closed the space between them.


End file.
